Man! Grow some balls!

February 3, 2015.

I was heading back from work with a few female colleagues via the Delhi Metro, when one of them had to get off at her respective station. We were in the middle of the coach when she bid goodbye and walked towards the door. Now, this door was blocked by some men, just standing there like it was nobody's business. My colleague requested them to move aside so she could deboard the train. Some did, but others just seemed to be deaf. As the station arrived and the door opened, she had to literally push her way through these men to get out of the door. Obviously irritated, she asked them to stand away from the door if they did not plan to get off. What followed is something none of us had thought of!

As the doors were closing, a guy wearing a hoodie shouted out, "Aisa kyaa ho gaya? Wapas aa jaa hamare paas!" (What's the big deal? Come back to us!)

Another one(unidentified), shouted, "Hum tere yaar se zyada mazze denge!" (We'll make you enjoy more than your guy).

The doors closed and the metro moved on. Now while that man said what he said, another guy standing close-by asked him to shut up. However, the sad thing was that the people around this guy, mostly men, starting giggling and making jokes about the incident.

I was obviously pissed by now, and made my way up to the guy wearing the hoodie, and asked him what he said! He started justifying himself saying that it wasn't him and someone else had made the statement, but then, I was tall enough to have seen that it was him! I had lost my cool by now and the man not only got a bashing but I also handed him over to the police guys at the next station. That however is another story.

But, the saddest part happened when all this was happening.

While I was dealing with this man, the main culprit, my other two colleagues, both females were standing way behind, in the same coach. People knew what the commotion was all about, and the men around my colleagues had the following to say:

Random Man 1 (College Guy): "Woh gareeb aadmi hai na, isiliye usko maar raha hai!" (He's poor that's why this guy is beating him up!)

Random Man 2 (Corporate Guy): "Ladkiyon ke liye alag se coach hai, phir aap is coach mein travel kyun karte ho?" (There's a separate coach reserved for ladies, why do you travel in this coach?"

Random Man 3 (Middle Aged): "Arre bol toh sabhi rahe the, uss ek bechaare ko kyun bol rahe ho?" (Everyone was doing it, why just blame one guy?)


These were just some of the reaction those two girls got. I am glad that they had the balls to stand up for themselves and answer back to those male chauvinists, but

I am a Dog!

Two days back, in the middle of the night, my phone rang. Everyone at home was fast asleep, but I was nowhere close. The call was from a biker brother, a man much senior to me in age and miles, and he had had some misunderstanding with me. He was angry in the initial minutes of the call, but without having told me what the grudge was, he disconnected the call, still calling me his younger brother as he did so. 

Two days down, I have been thinking of him, and what bothers him. And, in this process, I have had a bit of a self-realization. These two days have told me some things about myself, and when I meet this biker brother of mine, I’m going to give him a tight hug, and thank him for making me meet the dog I am!

•    I read signs.

I might not be very vocal about my feelings at times, but I see when someone throws me a hug or pets my head or kisses my cheek. A smile and a whistle from far away will entice me enough to go the distance. I understand love above all other things, and when everything else fails, a hug or a kiss or a rub on my head or back or neck works wonders. Having said that, I also understand signs where someone is trying to hurt me. It might be a matter of circumstance in a case like this, where I may choose to run away or counter attack.

•     I trust even after getting hurt.

My love is unconditional, to an extent. I love and I expect the same in return. For me it’s a cuddle for a cuddle and a hug for a hug. Yes, there may be times when you’d hurt me, give me a slap in my face (sometimes metaphorically), but I’d still come back to you, hoping to be loved again. And if, in case, I am hurt over and over again, I would just shy away and then, slowly fade away!

•      I have a history, but I can forget it.

There have been instances in the past where I have been loved, hurt and/or betrayed! I still hold on to them. I might initially have the same fears when approached, but once the love signs start coming, my little doggy spirit starts wagging its tail, responding to those love signals.

I will take time, but once I’m done, I’m all yours.

•     I look forward to rewards.

I have expectations. Yes I do! And I love to be rewarded for the love I would give! I would hug and cuddle and kiss and lick your worries off, if just one big hug tells me that you love me. The food, oh yes, that would be a good reward too. But, if I were to choose between the food (survival) and family, I would choose family.

•    I can wait patiently.

You might have things which would be bigger priorities for you at a moment in time. A career, a party, a gathering, a baby! I understand that I won’t get the same attention from you during these times, or maybe not see you altogether. I am patient through all of this, and I would happily wait till the moment I can get your 100% attention, so I can tell you how much I love you!

That's it from doggy world for now! Whoof whoof!

Do I need a blog?

It was just another evening, and I was riding back from a not-so-eventful day at work. I'd had a discussion with my girl in the evening about her wanting to shift to a new place, as her hostel was closing down. I was concerned about her shifting yes, but then, I was more concerned about knowing where she'd shift from here, whom she'd shift with etc. And, to top it all off, we are in a Long Distance Relationship. Honestly, no big deal about that, because she is an amazing girl, and if we ever parted ways, I'd still respect her for the amazing person that she is. But wait, why am I convincing you about it? It is my relationship!

So yeah! I'm riding back and there's this uncomfortable feeling inside me. I'm trying to understand what's wrong and what is it that I'm not feeling good about, and then, bang! I realize I am in two minds about my girl shifting to an all new place, with new people around.

Can I do anything about it? Not really! I trust her with her decisions and I know that she'd do just fine. But, on the other hand, I have had a past, and I've had that girl in my life to whom I gave my everything, and yet, she cheated on me.

I realized that very moment that I was somewhere holding my present guilty of my past. It was the fear of getting hurt again that was making me uncomfortable. And then, this strange sadism took over because I started hating myself for having mistreated my girl, even if it was in my thoughts.

Many of my intellectually blessed friends would term this as a natural reaction, or bigger words like relativity, but all I understood at that point of time, was that most of us have a kind of a split personality. We have double thoughts about anything and everything, and if I can put these out, then why not. Who knows? I might just land up with a lot of like-minded-thinkers, or cribbers, or writers for that matter.

I'm just thinking aloud here, questioning my answers!